My first album, recorded entirely in Garageband in 2008/09, and remastered several times in Logic. Mentioned in Dr. Gregg Wager's considerations for best music albums of 2009, at Perfect Sound Forever website.
I remember selling my house, moving into little motel rooms while I awaited flying off to Europe on a promise that did not turn out to be true, that people had less faith in me as a person and as a serious artist than realistically necessary, and that generally, people cannot be trusted for anything.
My compositional method has changed a great deal since recording this album; far less reliance on incorporating loops, and a greater range of harmonic and temporal variety, not for the sake of novelty, but because the music demands it.
I live in poverty, excepting my laptop and the newer, better sample libraries i managed to obtain through means I will not get into here (free, since I am not able to afford even a single one of these)
I do not expect anyone to actually pay money for my music any more. I am neither rich nor powerful enough for anyone to feel obligated to give money to, for any reason at all. But I am all but done for this world. I am long for another world. I know my life is tragic. Tragic enough that unscrupulous persons and institutions are already likely to be keeping an eye on me, hoping for my demise, as they did to artists with tragic lives. To capitalize on the tragedy of the dead. To make millions off tears. To remain 'the winners of this world'.
I therefore hope to release publicly as much of my work as possible, for free, or whatever you deem it is worth, probably nothing. Nobody can then it is hoped, make money off that which is already free.
I would be very surprised if any sizable number of persons download this album and the ones to come. I would even be more surprised if anyone had a good enough heart to pay me for my work.
To further add to your sense of offence, I consider my music good. People hate me for believing in myself and my work. They demand the false humility of the arrogant and the heartless. It does not bother me now. Not now. My position in life demand I genuflect to the rich, the royal bloodlines, the evil ones. To the world.
My position in life demand I do not know of words like 'genuflect'.
That I am as stupid as they make me out to be. Vincent Van Gogh was useless as I am, while alive. He was only a genius dead, and if he made for the rich even greater hordes of money.
Had he the Internet in his day, he might have made digital copies of all his work and distributed them free, destroyed the originals, and die knowing at the very least the evil ones could not exploit him posthumously.
May this music find a home among the homeless. May my tragedy reward the suffering ones, and leave the ugly ones confused.